Category Archives: Remembrances

Requiem for a friend

Requiem for a friendLegendary film star Marlene Dietrich once said, “It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.”

Phil was that kind of friend.

Any time of the day or night, he’d be there. He was there during life’s bleakest moments — through devastating illness, the end of my first marriage. And he shared the joy of important milestones–two weddings, the birth of my son, law school graduation, the launch of a new business. He was generous, dependable, and unfailingly kind. He was also a tough pragmatist who wasn’t afraid to give honest advice. And he was one of the funniest people I’ve ever met, a skilled storyteller whose jokes would leave me doubled over with helpless laughter, slapping my knees and gasping for breath.

Somehow, over the last few years, we got together less frequently. Work and family bring their own demands, and friendship went on hold. And his own life took a dark detour, leading him to places that those who loved him could not follow.

But almost three decades of friendship exert a powerful pull. Over the last few months I thought of him often and resolved to call him–always tomorrow, always tomorrow.

But I waited too long.

Last Friday I got the call. Three words changed everything: “Phil is dead.”

So please don’t wait until tomorrow to say, “I’m sorry”.

Or “Thanks for everything.”

Or “I love you.”

Unless you want to say those words, as I did last night, in a eulogy for a departed friend.

IT’S MY PARTY AND I’LL BLOG IF I WANT TO: Online Guide to Mediation turns one today

Happy birthday to Online Guide to MediationToday Online Guide to Mediation celebrates its first full year of blogging (and they said it wouldn’t last).

First, some acknowledgements. Then a look at some favorite posts—mine and yours.

Anniversaries are often a time for retrospection. In thinking back over the past 12 months of blogging, what comes to mind are those to whom a debt of gratitude is owed. First and foremost, my readers–thanks so very much for everything. Secondly, and just as important, people who offered encouragement, sage advice, friendship, or a helping hand along the way (and the occasional and well-timed kick in the pants). In more-or-less alphabetical order, my deepest appreciation to

Bob Ambrogi
Chris Bailey
Monica Bay
Ben Cowgill
Jill Fallon
Michael Fitzgibbon
Ericka Gray
Stephen Hicks
Perry Itkin
Larry King
George Lenard
Tammy Lenski
Tim Linnehan
Roni Lipton
Dina Beach Lynch
Ashok Panikkar
Colin Rule
Geoff Sharp
Bill Warters
Josh Weiss
The gang at National Arbitration Forum Blog
The nice folks at Woodbury College

To celebrate this milestone, here’s two groups of posts—one is my own list of favorites, selected from each of the 12 months I’ve been publishing the Online Guide–and the second, “Readers’ Choice”, is a compilation of posts most frequently visited or which generated the most e-mail from readers, one from each month as well.

My favorite posts

MEDIATION IS NOT “MEDITATION” WITH A TYPO

MEDIATION IN THE MEDIA: The Three Little Pigs go to mediation in this animated short from the Department of Veterans Affairs

WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG: There’s a place for both attorneys and mediators in dealing with divorce

WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND: Why relationships matter in business

ONLINE DISPUTE RESOLUTION EXAMINES CONFLICTS IN VIRTUAL WORLDS

BREAKING BREAD: Could sharing food foster cooperation between parties in mediation?

THE VANISHING TRIAL AND OTHER MYSTERIES

MORE THAN WE BARGAINED FOR: Does gender matter in negotiation?

FUTURE PERFECT: New documentary explores future peace through interviews with Israelis and Palestinians

SEEING OURSELVES: Conflict and negotiation in popular culture

HIGH SPIRITS: Legal issues can arise on sale of haunted or psychologically impacted houses

TEST OF CHARACTER: Using instruments to probe conflict styles and moral intuition

GEOGRAPHY HAS MADE US NEIGHBORS: The importance of geographic literacy in the 21st century

Readers’ choice

WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN A BASIC MEDIATION TRAINING

TALK AROUND THE WATER COOLER: Jobvent.com provides forum for workplace issues

READY FOR PRIME TIME: Mediation comes to reality television

COOPERATION OR COMPETITION: The Prisoner’s Dilemma and Game Theory

CULTURAL INFLUENCES IN NEGOTIATION AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION

UNCHARTED TERRITORY: Mapping out the world of alternative dispute resolution blogs

BECOMING A MEDIATOR: What you should know before you change careers

PHYSICIAN, HEAL THYSELF: Apologies found to reduce medical malpractice litigation

EASY LISTENING: Negotiating Tip of the Week features negotiation tactics and techniques in a weekly podcast

ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE: Studies reveal human propensity for reframing to see good in outcomes

THE FUTURE IS NOW: A strategic approach to the future of dispute resolution and law

NO MONKEYING AROUND: Evolutionary tendency in primates to prefer loss avoidance over maximizing gain

Okay, now who wants cake?