Monthly Archives: January 2009

Federal law would create negotiation training programs for women and girls

Negotiation justice for womenOn January 9, 2009, the U.S. House of Representatives approved two bills that would remedy paycheck discrimination.  One, the Paycheck Fairness Act, would eliminate gender-based pay disparities.

What is especially significant about this Act is that it would establish a grant program to fund training for women and girls in negotiation skills. Section Five of the Act provides:

An entity that receives a grant under this subsection shall use the funds made available through the grant to carry out an effective negotiation skills training program that empowers girls and women. The training provided through the program shall help girls and women strengthen their negotiation skills to allow the girls and women to obtain higher salaries and the best compensation packages possible for themselves.

Congress has at last recognized and aims to remedy a problem that women themselves have long been aware of: that social barriers prevent women from negotiating effectively.

(Hat tip to Concurring Opinions.)

Latest additions to ADRblogs.com cover consensus building, healthy workplaces, personal injury mediation

ADRblogs.comI’ve just added three great blogs to the World Directory of ADR Blogs @ ADRblogs.com, my ongoing effort to track and catalogue blogs around the globe that cover ADR, negotiation, and conflict resolution. It’s my great pleasure to welcome:

If you have a blog you’d like to submit for inclusion in ADRblogs.com, please let me know. Read the submission guidelines and then get in touch.

It pays to know the other side's BATNA when you're negotiating

Knowledge is powerKnowledge is power in any negotiation. Skilled negotiators prepare carefully, taking time to identify their key interests and their alternatives if no deal is reached (in negotiation parlance, their “BATNA” — their best alternative to a negotiated agreement).

These negotiators understand that that’s just one side of the equation. It’s not just enough to know your own alternatives; you also have to know the alternatives your counterparts are weighing. It protects you from making poor decisions at the negotiating table.

In “Nudge, Shel Silverstein, Smart, and Negotiation,” Joel Schoenmeyer, who blogs at Death and Taxes, recounts a snappy anecdote about a negotiation over royalties to show what happens when you don’t bother to do your homework about the other guy’s BATNA. Go read it — it’s got a great punchline.

Mediation house calls for divorcing couples

Although I hate to admit it, I’m actually old enough to remember the days when the family doctor made house calls.

Childhood ailments brought visits from our kindly, joke-cracking pediatrician who would arrive with his black bag, his stethoscope slung around his neck, as if he’d stepped straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. How I longed for those days when my own kids got sick, as has anyone else who has waited endless hours in a cramped waiting room with a screaming toddler with an ear infection and a raging fever.

Now a group of mediators stands ready to revive a dying tradition. A press release that made its way into the stack of Google alerts in my inbox this morning announces that a mediation practice in New Jersey is now providing at-home mediation services to divorcing couples.

More power to them for coming up with an innovative way to attract and serve clients.  Personally, though, I’m not sure that this is such a great idea. I think there’s a lot to be said for mediating on more neutral territory. The marital home is all too often both battlefield and asset in contention.

Perhaps these mediators have some ambivalence themselves about these new services. In its last paragraph, the press release declares that the mediation practice offers “a free consultation … in the martial home” (emphasis added).

Typo? Or Freudian slip?

January 2009 Carnival of Trust

The Carnival of Trust

Welcome to the January 2009 Carnival of Trust, a monthly review of posts that explore the most essential ingredient in all our relationships, business and personal.  Charles H. Green, CEO of Trusted Advisor Associates, and an expert on trust in business relationships, is the creator of the Carnival of Trust, and I am deeply honored  that he extended an invitation to me to serve as host this month.

That trust is vital cannot be doubted, as even a casual glance at newspaper headlines makes plain. From the Bernie Madoff scandal to the impeachment of Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich to the refusal of U.S. banks to account for the money they received in the recent Wall Street bailout, it has never been clearer that trust matters — and matters a lot.  Violations of trust hit hard, whether public figures and national interests are at stake or between private citizens behind closed doors.

But these events that have unfolded on the national stage affect people locally.  It is at that level that trust is experienced — personally, immediately, intimately.  It’s that view at the ground level that this Carnival of Trust is dedicated to.  The 10 posts that I have selected all share something in common.  It’s their ability to capture, up close and personal, the meaning of trust — its significance, its bestowal, its loss, its redemption.  They bring us face to face with trust — and our individual and collective responsibility to preserve and protect it.

Trust in Sales and Marketing

Taking us on a journey of trust  is a blogger identified only as Steve, who documents his and his wife’s strategies for creating and building wealth on a single income at MyWifeQuitHerJob.com.  He asks and answers the question, “Should You Trust Your Customers?” through three compelling real-life examples drawn from the online business he and his wife run. To find out whether trust triumphed, read his story.

In “Lessons Learning from Improv“, marketing consultant John Moore of Brand Autopsy pauses to reflect on what 18 weeks of improv comedy classes taught him personally about everyday business life — important lessons he generously shares with his readers about fellowship, mutual support, and the value of trusting others to achieve success.

In “What’s Your Hook?“, Meredith Liepelt, a consultant specializing in marketing for women entrepreneurs, offers small business owners advice courtesy of ice cream purveyor Baskin-Robbins: give potential clients a free taste of your services to help them build confidence in you and your ability to serve their needs well. Liepelt demonstrates step by step the effect of the free sample on one prospective client.

Trust in Leadership and Management

Albert Schweitzer once wrote, “”No human being is ever totally and permanently a stranger to another human being. Man belongs to man. Man is entitled to man. Large and small circumstances break in to dispel the estrangement we impose upon ourselves in daily living, and to bring us close to one another, man to man.” That’s the message of an untitled post on the blog of Robert Bruner, Dean of the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia.  He exhorts the Darden community to remember how important ethics and reputation are to creating a sustainable legacy for the future.  He calls on every member of that community to take personal responsibility for encouraging others to do what’s right, to speak up when others err, and to make a commitment to serve as a living example of the ethos of trust.

Professional coach Christopher Edgar at Purpose Power Coaching wonders, “Do You Distrust Others, Or Just Yourself?“  Describing the struggle of one of his clients to come to terms with her own inability to trust herself, Edgar uses his client’s story to bring to life the lesson that trusting oneself is closely linked to success in business.

Trust in Strategy, Economics and Politics

Rushworth M. Kidder at Ethics Newsline wants to know whether “Fighting Ponzi with Ponzi?” is a sustainable strategy in the wake of recent revelations surrounding Bernie Madoff. He sees lessons from the Madoff scandal for the current economic crisis and persists in asking the hard questions: “Are we at risk of becoming a nation of Ponzis? Are we building today’s bailouts and stimulus packages to guarantee a working economy tomorrow — or are we, like Ponzi, paying current dividends out of our children’s capital?”

Scott Greenfield, who blogs at Simple Justice, laments the demise of civic responsibility with the rise of an alarming cost-saving trend: “Cash & Carry Law Enforcement“, where citizens are charged for police and fire emergency services. Greenfield delivers a powerful civics lesson: “The fundamental concept of the common good means that we, as a society, sacrifice a little for the benefit of the whole.”

Trust in Advising and Influencing

In “The Workplace as Moral Testing Ground“, Mark Brady, blogging at The Committed Parent, writes movingly of the important responsibility that parents, teachers, and others who mentor the young hold for the development of children as moral beings, and with unflinching self-honesty reflects on his own youthful errors.

Sam Sommers, a blogger at Psychology Today, recounts an eye-opening experience on an elevator to warn of The Power of Us, the irresistible influence that shared identity in a group can hold over us, swaying us in our judgments when we interact with someone who belongs to the same group that we do. He cautions, too, that “usness” — shared affiliations of culture, privilege, or class — can place obstacles in the path of women and minorities.

This has been a difficult winter so far for folks like me who live in New England.  An ice storm in December left numerous communities without power, some for many days.  For some, the response of utility companies was frustratingly inadequate as people were kept literally and figuratively in the dark.  Conflict resolution expert Tammy Lenski, herself without electricity for over a week in her New Hampshire home, brings the voice of personal experience to dispense wise advice for “Crisis communication and the impact on conflict, anger” at Conflict Zen.

This brings us to the end of the January 2009 Carnival of Trust.  I thank you for joining me.  At a time when trust is imperiled, perhaps we’d be prudent to heed the words of 19th century humorist Finley Peter Dunne who wrote, “Trust everybody, but cut the cards.” Yet I’d like to end on a more hopeful note with the following observation from Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly, and they will show themselves great.”

Mediation Channel begins a new season

Mediation Channel out of reruns and broadcasting againI know that an unaccustomed silence has fallen here. The last two months have brought difficult challenges for my family and me to face. With regret I had to put so much on hold, including this blog. Many of you have contacted me to ask if I’m okay, and I am deeply grateful to you for your concern.

Like many, I am glad to see a new year begin. May 2009 bring to all of you health, friendship, and hopes fulfilled.

I look forward to beginning our conversation anew.