Monthly Archives: July 2008

Within limits: honoring the finite at the mediation table

Within LimitsMediators and negotiators are familiar with the concept of the fixed pie versus the expanding one. In traditional negotiation, there is only one pie to be divided, and everyone wants to claim the largest piece. In principled negotiation, we talk of expanding the pie — of creating value so that everyone’s needs are met. In fact, many of us who practice principled negotiation promote the notion that the pie and possibilities are infinite and that the only limits are those our own imaginations set.

An essay that appeared in the May 2008 issue of Harper’s Magazine titled, “Faustian economics: hell hath no limits“, made me wonder whether we aren’t overselling that aspect of mediation and negotiation. In reality, in hard economic times, pies are indeed limited, as resources dwindle, grow more costly, or vanish altogether. Maybe, instead of raising false hopes of an infinitely expanding pie, perhaps we should inspire those in conflict or in negotiation to work creatively — even heroically — within the limits they face.

In this essay, author and critic Wendell Berry takes a long, merciless look at America’s consumerism and its enduring belief in the fable of unlimited economic growth. Condemning America’s “national faith” in “‘There’s always more’”, Berry writes,

In keeping with our unrestrained consumptiveness, the commonly accepted basis of our economy is the supposed possibility of limitless growth, limitless wants, limitless wealth, limitless natural resources, limitless energy, and limitless debt. The idea of a limitless economy implies and requires a doctrine of general human limitlessness: all are entitled to pursue without limit whatever they conceive as desirable — a license that classifies the most exalted Christian capitalist with the lowliest pornographer.

He pinpoints the source for our mistaken belief and reveals what we miss when we focus on limitlessness and not limits:

If the idea of appropriate limitation seems unacceptable to us, that may be because, like Marlowe’s Faustus and Milton’s Satan, we confuse limits with confinement. But that, as I think Marlowe and Milton and others were trying to tell us, is a great and potentially a fatal mistake…

On the contrary, our human and earthly limits, properly understood, are not confinements but rather inducements to formal elaboration and elegance, to fullness of relationship and meaning. Perhaps our most serious cultural loss in recent centuries is the knowledge that some things, though limited, are inexhaustible. For example, an ecosystem, even that of a working forest or farm, so long as it remains ecologically intact, is inexhaustible. A small place, as I know from my own experience, can provide opportunities of work and learning, and a fund of beauty, solace, and pleasure—in addition to its difficulties—that cannot be exhausted in a lifetime or in generations.

Although Berry is talking about an entire way of life, what he says rings true for negotiation and mediation. Here he describes how limits can in fact produce works that astonish us with their beauty or power:

It is the artists, not the scientists, who have dealt unremittingly with the problem of limits. A painting, however large, must finally be bounded by a frame or a wall. A composer or playwright must reckon, at a minimum, with the capacity of an audience to sit still and pay attention. A story, once begun, must end somewhere within the limits of the writer’s and the reader’s memory. And of course the arts characteristically impose limits that are artificial: the five acts of a play, or the fourteen lines of a sonnet. Within these limits artists achieve elaborations of pattern, of sustaining relationships of parts with one another and with the whole, that may be astonishingly complex. And probably most of us can name a painting, a piece of music, a poem or play or story that still grows in meaning and remains fresh after many years of familiarity.

As people struggle to obtain justice, create value, make meaning, save relationships, or reclaim dignity, here, then, is the mediator’s art: to draw upon the force that gives form to marble or color to canvas, to help them discover their own virtuosity.

You be the judge: relying on users, Ameritocracy fact checks and analyzes public statements

Puncturing urban legends To help Americans separate fact from fiction in the media they consume, a new web site has launched, Ameritocracy, which describes itself as

a user-contributed and user-generated content site that allows people to judge the accuracy, credibility and relevancy of claims made by society’s leaders and information gatekeepers such as media and business.

The Ameritocracy community, made up of anyone who signs up for an account, submits and then rates quotes based on several scales, including accuracy, credibility, and relevance.

I’m personally not about to put my trust in the wisdom of crowds to help me assess the accuracy of the news stories or political claims presidential candidates make — not when at one time 70% of Americans believed that Saddam Hussein was linked to the attacks of 9/11 — and a disturbingly significant number continue to. I’ll trust to other sources for fact-checking, thank you very much.

Thanks to the always insightful Sanjana Hattotuwa at ICT for Peacebuilding for the link.

The art of negotiation: a video interview with international negotiator Mitchell Reiss

the art of negotiationThe College of William and Mary has posted an interview with Mitchell Reiss, Vice Provost for International Affairs, who explains the art of negotiation and describes his experience negotiating with North Korea in this short video.

One of the most important qualities a negotiator possesses is patience, according to Reiss, who observes that it “isn’t just a virtue, it becomes a tactical advantage” at the negotiation table.

If you’re interested in learning more about international negotiation or ADR in international contexts, don’t forget about International Dispute Negotiation, the excellent podcast series by Michael McIlwrath, Senior Counsel, Litigation for GE Infrastructure – Oil & Gas, based at his company’s headquarters in Florence, Italy.

Recent offerings include:

Michael plays engaging host in conversations with some of the best and the brightest from around the globe. You can view the archive of previous episodes to find more.

It's nice to be noticed

Many thanks to Judge Robert Vonada blogging at Pennsylvania Workers’ Compensation Journal, who was kind enough to alert his readers that “Mediation Practice Well Represented in Blogs“, linking to Mediate.com’s Featured Blogs.

Judge Vonada writes, “Mediators have the ambition and the aptitude to produce very useful blogs on the subject.”

Serving – and keeping – your membership: an open letter to organizations for ADR professionals

Getting and keeping membersLast week, mediator and blogger Geoff Sharp asked his readers for some help (links to follow are to PDF documents so click with care):

Tuesday next week I am facilitating a breakfast session on how our two local New Zealand professional mediation organisations can serve us better – “How LEADR and AMINZ can better serve New Zealand mediators – a discussion

Can you help me prepare – what’s the best thing your local organisation does for you – how does the mediation organisation you choose to pay and belong to add value to your practice?

He asked for his readers to post their answers in the comment section. I was late weighing in (Geoff had to ask that question over what was for Americans the long 4th of July weekend), but I finally gave him my response this morning. I decided to reproduce my comment here (with some later refinements in my thinking), because I think Geoff has asked a particularly important and thoughtful question. This is particularly so for me because in the course of the past year I allowed memberships in three organizations for ADR professionals to lapse.

What follows is my open letter to organizations for ADR professionals everywhere, with some advice on how to keep, not drive away, members:

  • First, provide your members with useful information that helps them do their jobs. A regularly published electronic newsletter for example that shares news, business tips, as well as links to news stories or web sites that are directly relevant to our work. Avoid drily written, heavily footnoted articles on obscure topics that aren’t useful to most of us toiling away in the trenches.
  • Second, provide value for those membership dues. Provide regularly scheduled programming (workshops, panel discussions) taught by respected and experienced professionals that will teach us something meaningful, help us deliver services more effectively, or give us tools to help us manage and market our practice better. Don’t waste our time with programs that don’t do any of those things. Schedule meetings and networking opportunities too at locations that encourage as many people as possible to attend, and not just for folks in one single geographic location, particularly if your mission is to serve a larger geographic area. Vary the meeting place to accommodate those different geographic constituencies.
  • Third, speaking of membership dues, if you increase dues, make sure that the increase is fair and also ensure that you are fulfilling your obligations under point #2, above. We want to know that our dues are delivering us value.
  • Fourth, provide us with discounts and services that add value to our membership — discounts on professional liability insurance or access to credit card processing, for example. Give us listings in an online directory so that clients can find us and make sure that we can easily update our listings, including the all-important contact information. Provide us with notices of job opportunities in our field, but don’t make prospective employers pay ridiculously high fees to post online job postings on your site, which will discourage those employers from doing so.
  • Fifth, communicate with members regularly and reliably. And by all means communicate with your members when you make important decisions that directly affect them. (One of the many reasons that I let my membership in ACR lapse is that they quietly dropped the ball on the mediator certification issue without bothering to inform their members — after making such a big deal out of the member survey on certification and appointing a panel to explore the issue.)
  • Sixth, respond to member inquiries, questions, and concerns promptly. Commit to resolving issues rapidly. And don’t ignore letters and emails. (In one case, I never received quarterly publications or even membership renewal notices, despite numerous requests over a three-year period to correct my address.) In fact, make it a point to conduct surveys of your members and ex-members from time to time to find out how you’re doing and what members really need, and then be responsive to the feedback you get. Earn and deserve the trust of your members.
  • Seventh, show appreciation to volunteers and to those who have served on your boards of directors. They have given up business opportunities to serve you and to help advance the good work of your organization. Express gratitude for their commitment and their service.

If you do these things, your members will thank you by renewing their member dues and by encouraging others to join you.

Latest issue of The Complete Lawyer – and the ADR column "Human Factor" – now available

The Complete LawyerThe latest issue of The Complete Lawyer, an online journal focusing on quality of life and career satisfaction for attorneys, is now available — and along with it, its special ADR column, “The Human Factor“. This issue of The Complete Lawyer asks, “What’s your exit strategy?” and looks at how best to plan financially and emotionally for retirement.

The Human Factor“ focuses on ADR from the perspective of four attorneys who mediate – me and my three extraordinary colleagues, Stephanie West Allen of Idealawg and Brains on Purpose, Gini Nelson of Engaging Conflicts, and Victoria Pynchon of Settle It Now Negotiation Blog.

This time in “The Human Factor” the four of us discuss “What we have learned from mediation and negotiation that can have very broad application in your life and work“.

The Complete Lawyer is published by Don Hutcheson, to whom the four of us owe a debt of gratitude for allowing us a forum for our ideas. Thanks, Don.

See a man change his mind before your eyes: learning that waterboarding is torture after all

Watch a man change his mind before your very eyesPolemicist and controversial author Christopher Hitchens wrote an article for Slate.com that distinguished “extreme interrogation” from torture, arguing that waterboarding falls into the first category but not the second. His critics challenged him to undergo waterboarding first-hand and judge for himself — a challenge he gamely took up.

Hitchens describes the discoveries he made during his experience and concludes, “Believe Me, It’s Torture“, in an article appearing in the August 2008 Vanity Fair. Hitchens writes:

You may have read by now the official lie about this treatment, which is that it “simulates” the feeling of drowning. This is not the case. You feel that you are drowning because you are drowning…

You can view the videotape of Hitchens undergoing “enhanced interrogation techniques” and ask yourself how long might you have held out before you sneer that Hitchens lasted only a few pitiful seconds before giving the signal that brought the experiment to an end.

(Hat tip to Kottke.org.)

It's not enough to talk about the gorilla in the room; you have to see him first

Have you seen the gorilla?One of my favorite exercises to conduct in negotiation or conflict resolution training consists of showing my audience the famous gorilla video, created by the Visual Cognition Lab at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.

I tell the audience that they will observe two teams of people playing basketball, one in white shirts and the other in black, and tell them to count the number of times the team wearing white t-shirts bounces the ball.

So focused are most audience members on accurately counting the number of times the ball bounces, they fail to observe the person in a gorilla costume who strolls through the players, stops in front of the camera to thump its chest, and then exits the scene.

After asking them to tell me what number they counted to, I ask if anyone noticed anything unusual. On average, across the many times I have played that video, only one third of the audience will have noticed the gorilla. On rare occasions, only two people out of an audience of, say, 50, will have seen the gorilla. And the ones that didn’t see the gorilla can’t believe their eyes when I replay the video to show them that the gorilla really was there after all. That’s a lot of people who didn’t see the gorilla.

It serves as a potent reminder of how easily our attention to one thing can blind us to seeing what is literally in front of our eyes — and that in every situation where lives or livelihoods are at stake, where relationships or choices matter — whether resolving a conflict, making an important decision, or pulling the lever in the voting booth — a gorilla may be present, hiding in the open, right in plain view.

Before we can talk about the gorilla, we have to know he’s there.

Resolving Conflict in Teams: new blog latest addition to ADRblogs.com

Resolving Conflict in TeamsThe World Directory of ADR Blogs has just added a new entry to its catalog: Resolving Conflict in Teams, published by American conflict resolution specialist Guy Harris, who describes himself as a “recovering engineer”. Guy explains:

I completed both a BS and MS in Chemical Engineering, and I served as a Nuclear trained submarine officer in the US Navy.

As my career progressed through various leadership roles, I began to realize that my biggest problems were with people and not with equipment. So, I started to study and apply “people skills” to get better at my job. I eventually grew to love the study of leadership, communication, and conflict resolution principles. Now, I am a Conflict Resolution Specialist. I specialize in helping teams resolve conflicts so that they can get better results.

On this new blog, Guy shares his insights in posts like “Are You at War or at Peace?“, which describes how your heart affects the way you perceive others in conflict.

Welcome, Guy, to the ADR blogosphere.

How not to improve your mediation web site's search engine ranking: a blogger speaks her mind

Improving the page rank of your mediation web siteI get emails all the time from mediators, lawyers, and other professionals asking for link exchanges from this blog. It’s nice that they perceive me as an authoritative source for ADR and negotiation and that an outbound link from MediationChannel.com counts for something. Unfortunately all too often these folks are missing the point.

I got an email the other day from a web designer writing on behalf of the client the web designer had just built a site for. The designer wanted my help in improving the web site’s search rank and to that end asked me to add the client’s static, non-blog web site to my — and this is what blew me away — my blogroll. My blogroll! You know, the place on my web site where I list the blogs I’m reading — blogs where I routinely find great content and informative articles about issues that affect me and my work. Blogs that are written by creative, intelligent, inspiring people, many of whom I have gotten to know and also happen to like and respect a great deal. Blogs that are listed here because they may be of interest to the people I really care about — my readers.

I wanted to ask, “What part of blogroll don’t you understand?”

So, as a public service message, here’s a blogger’s friendly advice to mediators and others who want to improve their site’s rank with the help of blogs:

  1. Don’t expect a blogger to link to your static site. Don’t even bother to ask — not unless you have great content there that will be of interest to the blogger and her readers — like well-crafted articles you’ve written, cool online tools and games you’ve created, productivity tips you’ve invented, or training and teaching materials you want to share. In my case, I may be willing (but no guarantees) to publish a post about your site and link to that terrific content. But please don’t expect me to add a link to your site from my sidebar. My blog is not here to provide free advertising for your business.
  2. Don’t ask a blogger to add a static site to a blogroll. A blogroll is a list of links to other blogs. By definition, it’s for blogs only. It’s that simple. In addition, see above #1.
  3. To really improve your site’s page rank with the help of a blog, exercise a little self-help. Either forget about regular web sites and launch a blog yourself in place of a static web site, or add a blog to your existing site. Reach out to other bloggers, build relationships with them, create good content that will keep readers returning (very important) and that bloggers will be delighted to link to, and the visitors to your site — along with the improved visibility on search engines — will come.

In fact, if you’ve got an ADR blog, tell me about it. I can add it to the World Directory of ADR Blogs at ADRblogs.com.