Comments on: Whatever happened to thank you? Thoughts on gratitude

By: Diane Levin

Diane Levin — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 18:58:13 +0000

Sue, thank you for your delightful comment and for sharing your own memories and thoughts on gratitude. Like you, I’ve tried to instill in my own children (now adults) the importance of expressing appreciation. You’ve also reminded me of how good it feels to express gratitude for a good deed done or for an act of thoughtfulness – as well as the importance of counting blessings. Best wishes – and thanks again to you.

By: sue donaldson

sue donaldson — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 17:37:36 +0000

Diane,
I came across your article, doing research on “giving thanks” – in general –and appreciated and identified with your story. Kids need to be taught to write “thank-you’s” – my mom drilled it into us – and now i appreciate the amount of work that takes – with our own kids. I’ve begun the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pillows – see website – to connect people together through listing and sharing their “thankfuls” – being thankful creates contentment.
Something we all need. Thanks again.

By: Diane Levin

Diane Levin — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 14:38:39 +0000

Gerrie, thank you for your comment. It sounds like you’ve had plenty of experience yourself dealing with institutional ingratitude. Good for you for ignoring those who think it’s possible to say “thank you” too often. It’s one of those things that don’t get said often enough.

By: Gerrie

Gerrie — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 02:50:45 +0000

I would like to say “Thank You” for all those ungrateful people who have not. I do understand your point, being that I deal with people in the judicial system and the healthcare system also. Don’t give up, I’ve been told that I say thank you to much (how ridiculous).

By: Diane Levin

Diane Levin — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 11:21:00 +0000

You know, that’s an interesting way of reframing the problem, CM. Hmmm, maybe it is an honor to be taken for granted. (Nope. Definitely doesn’t feel that way. A nice “thank you” would feel much, much better.)

Now that you mention it, I’ve got a long overdue call to my parents, too….

Thanks for weighing in here!

By: CM

CM — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 07:15:38 +0000

Diane,

Yep. I give a a fair few references, too. And hey! Yah! Now that you mention it, only a few write to say “thank you”! I wonder if it’s a kind of honour being taken for granted — something like parents. Which reminds me — I need to thank my parents for being the type who could be take for granted!

By: Diane Levin

Diane Levin — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 00:02:49 +0000

I’m getting the sense that this post is really resonating with people. I’ve gotten some emails in response from folks saying stuff similar to what you’ve described here, Geoff.

Sadly, this ungrateful former student is not an isolated case. I fear he’s part of an ever-increasing trend. I notice that very few of the many people who email me for help or information ever bother to thank me. It’s too bad — they evidently don’t appreciate what a small world the ADR community is — or what a long memory people like me have.

By: Geoff Sharp

Geoff Sharp — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 23:12:13 +0000

You know Diane, this is bang on.

Last month I was contacted by a US mediator who I won’t name to see if I knew of a certain case report that he was interested in. I didn’t – it was an Australian case and although they look close on a map, Australia and New Zealand are distinct jurisdictions with our own bodies of law, 3 hours flying time apart.

But wanting to oblige, I emailed a buddy of mine in Big Law in Sydney and pulled in a favour. He got his people on to it and they turned up the case. They emailed it to him, he emailed it to me and I emailed it to the US, taking the credit of course.

Nothing. Nada. Not a sausage.

So I waited a week or so. Still nothing.

So I emailed ‘Did you get the case?’

The reply? ‘Yes – thanks!” – nothing more.

He’ll get nothing out of me in the future.

By: Diane Levin

Diane Levin — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 22:47:21 +0000

Wow, Dina, so very good to hear from you. And thank you, right back at you.

Incredible to stop to consider — you and I were among the early adapters of blogging in the ADR community — it’s pretty exciting to see where we all are now. Your influence has certainly counted here, as momentum builds and the ADR blogosphere expands.

You’re an original, Dina!

By: Dina Lynch Eisenberg

Dina Lynch Eisenberg — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 21:35:21 +0000

So, in case I haven’t said it of late- thank you, Diane, for being a visionary in the field and an inspiration to me.