According to Newton’s Third Law of Motion, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

This must surely apply to the dispute resolution field. Consider this:

Exhibit 1: Action.

Family lawyers in Massachusetts, including esteemed family mediation pioneer John Fiske, are currently working to replace references in state law to “custody” and “visitation” — words laden with negative associations for parents facing divorce — with the terms “parental rights and responsibilities” and “parenting plans” — language which is far less inflammatory and likely to provoke conflict. If Massachusetts takes this step, it will join other states like its neighbor New Hampshire which have already incorporated such changes into law.  I have seen first-hand how destructive the traditional language can be and how much anxiety it arouses; those who work with families and couples in conflict as I have will no doubt welcome this change.

Exhibit 2: Equal and Opposite Reaction.

Every year I take the last week in December off and enjoy some of that time catching up on my reading. One of the books I added to my library is the tremendously entertaining pocket reference, William Drennan’s Advocacy Words: A Thesaurus. From the preface:

Effective word use is vital for anyone active in the law. For the attorney arguing a case or preparing a brief, for the jurist writing an opinion, even for the law student, words are the ammunition needed to make the point.

Quite an image, huh? Now this from the book’s description in the American Bar Association’s bookstore, which keeps the combat metaphors coming:

If you are a litigator, Advocacy Words can help you decimate opposing counsel’s position. If you are writing a brief, it can help you compose a convincing argument. If you are a jurist, it can help your opinions ring with the strength of your legal judgment. And if you are a law student, Advocacy Words can help you to hone your combative legal skills. Use the verbal dynamite in Advocacy Words to promote your position effectively. Let it be your companion in painting the verbal picture you want. Keep it handy to help you move others to your point of view.

In a way, it’s like reverse reframing.

The book is organized into two parts. Part one provides favorable words in one column with critical synonyms suggested in another; part two reverses it, with critical words in one column, with their favorable synonyms in the second.

For example, in part one, the critical “conspiracy, deal” are suggested substitutes for the favorable “agreement”; “confused, indecisive” for “considering alternative opinions”; and “manipulable, docile, meek, pliant, compliant, collaborative, toadying” for “cooperative”. Meanwhile, in part two, the favorable “frank exchange of ideas, frank discussion” is offered for the critical “argument”, and “flexible negotiator” for “soft-liner”.

See? Fun!

A new mediation blog has moved into the neighborhood. mediatorinthemaking.com covers “adventures in learning the practice of mediation”.

Published by an anonymous blogger, identified only as “a newly trained mediator seeking experience wherever I can find it, learning quite a lot as I put my new skills into practice”, this days-old blog already shows promise with “The future’s so bright“, a post that announces the release of U.S. News & World Report’s listing of best careers for 2008 — and the fact that “mediator” makes the list for the first time.

In the interests of full disclosure, I should tell you that I have the pleasure of knowing the anonymous blogger behind mediatorinthemaking.com. Although like a good mediator, I will keep that information to myself, without giving anything away I can tell you that this individual is bright, talented, and promising to be one of the mediation field’s success stories.

It’s therefore my pleasure to send my best wishes and congratulations to the anonymous author of mediatorinthemaking.com. I hope you’ll do the same.

(Photo credit: Afonso Lima.)

How others see us may be very different from how we see ourselves.

But how to map the overlaps and gaps between their perception and our own? How can we see that self more completely?

Professional mediator and tech expert Tammy Lenski points us to a tool that can help us see that total picture: an interactive Johari window that allows users to map personality awareness with the aid of friends, family, and colleagues.

Interested in finding more online tools that test self-knowledge? Visit this post from the MediationChannel.com vaults: “Hidden agenda: online test reveals conscious and subconscious biases“, which links to several, including Project Implicit, which tests for implicit associations, and the Moral Sense Test, an ongoing study of moral intuition.

According to today’s Boston Globe, the University of Leicester has published a Global Projection of Subjective Well Being, or, in layperson’s terms, a world map of happiness.

Which countries are among the 20 happiest? They include Denmark in the #1 slot; Canada, #10; and New Zealand, #18. The U.S. ranks 23rd, while the U.K. is #41 and India #125.

Click here for the list or here for the map (scroll down to see the map image).