Welcome to Part 2 of a series of essays on blogging for the conflict resolution community. The series began several weeks ago with “Getting to yes with alternative dispute resolution blogs: time for ADR practitioners to join the conversation“.

It was launched with the hope of encouraging ADR practitioners everywhere to think about blogging’s power to share ideas, encourage inquiry, and to build connections among us.

Yet blogging is not the solitary practice one might think it is. When you blog, you do so knowing that you are reaching out to share your message, that others, somewhere in the world, are listening. Readers reach back, reacting and responding through comments or emails.

When I first began blogging in January 2005, I had no expectations about where it would take me. I had no idea what kind of response this blog would even get.

Roughly 18 months and some 360+ posts later, this blog has attracted visitors from every continent but Antarctica (not known anyway as a hotbed of mediator activity) and from countries around the world.

Many of these visitors have taken the time to contact me and let me know what they’re thinking. Some have even written to me in languages other than English. Typically by email but on occasion even by phone, these readers have responded with positive feedback, with constructive criticism, with ideas they thought would be of interest to me and my readers. They have reached out to educate me, to share knowledge, and to pass along news, articles, links, information about upcoming events, and book recommendations. Some have asked for advice or help with their own blogs. Some have just wanted to say hello to a fellow mediator.

A number of these have turned into meaningful friendships–people whose work I admire, opinions I respect, and whose ongoing support and encouragement sustains me as a mediator, as a blogger, and as a fellow traveler on planet earth.

Those of us in the conflict resolution field appreciate the importance of relationships and communication. Blogging provides opportunity–plenty of it–for both.

Blogging has succeeded in putting me in touch with remarkable individuals I might never have met otherwise. It has, in effect, allowed me to network with the entire world.

It’s a trip I encourage every mediator to take.

Interested in learning more about blogging? Please visit the World Directory of Alternative Dispute Resolution Blogs for links to resources, advice, ideas, and ways to get started for beginning bloggers.

And by all means please get in touch to let me know that you’re blogging. Other ADR bloggers and blog readers can’t wait to find out.

“If you do it for money, then you’re cheapening something special and meaningful that should only be done for love, out of the caring in your heart.”

Does that statement refer to

1) Sex
2) Raising dairy cattle
3) Cultivating cymbidium orchids
4) None of the above

If you chose 4), None of the above, you’d be right.

Believe it or not, what that statement actually refers to is mediation.

It was precisely what a volunteer community mediator said to me one long ago day when I mentioned to them my plans to go forward with a full-time mediation practice. “How are you going to support yourself?” they asked. I was puzzled for a moment, and then I replied, “Well, I’m not providing mediation services for free. I’m charging for them.” This was greeted at first with an appalled silence, and then, moments later, by those words this post began with.

The work mediators do is undeniably valuable. Mediators boldly go where angels fear to tread–right into the very heart of conflict. And, like intrepid guides, we are able to lead disputants to level ground. We help people achieve resolution and overcome their differences, even in the face of seemingly intractable conflict. We give them tools to improve their critical relationships, be they personal or professional.

As incredible as it sounds, there are still those within the mediation community, as well as those outside it who benefit the most from mediation’s advantages, who devalue the work of mediators.

Two dispute resolution professionals have written passionately and eloquently on behalf of underpaid mediators everywhere. Begin with Charles Parselle’s article from the most recent Mediate.com newsletter , “L.A.’s Policy Of Free Mediation Benefits Everybody But Mediator“. Then visit Mediation Mensch, published by ADR entrepreneur Dina Beach Lynch, who has written several articles exploring this issue: “Pay for Mediators Threatens Status Quo,” “Pro Bono NOT Volunteering,” and “Pro Bono Strategies for Mediators“.

We all need to ask ourselves: how do we value ourselves and the services we provide as mediators? Are we inadvertently devaluing our own worth? And what are we individually and collectively doing to increase or depreciate the value of the work we do? Mediators, you have nothing to lose but your chains.

Blogs by their very nature are a form of conversation. Most blogs, this one included, allow for reader commenting and encourage the exchange of opinions and ideas. The interaction of bloggers and blog-readers gives rise to what one blogger, writing for the E-mediators blog, has dubbed “multivocality”, which

[...r]efers to the multitude of voices participating in the creation of a weblog. By way of hyperlinking, commenting and trackbacks weblog readers in effect become secondary authors, this is the progression that induce multivocality. Multivocality, apart from depicting “many voices” is therefore the process that complicates the distinction between author and reader - blogs and blogging. As author and reader is constantly changing roles, they are in effect adding to an ongoing process - the weblog.

Shortly after I began blogging over a year and a half ago, readers have posted their comments. Not with the frequency I had hoped–most readers seem to prefer the privacy of email–but still often enough to keep things interesting. Through their comments they have let me know when I get it right and when they think I’m wrong. They have shared ideas and their own expertise. Their contributions have meant a lot.

I haven’t bothered with a comment policy. I didn’t think I needed one. I did begin using Blogger.com’s comment moderation feature last fall when I noticed that spammers were posting as comments unsolicited advertisements for products and services. It became a frequent annoyance, and I was wasting far too much time deleting these spam comments from my blog. Now readers must choose a user name and password and complete word verification to submit a comment. An additional hoop to jump through, I know, and while I certainly hope that it doesn’t inconvenience readers too much, I also hope all of you understand why I needed to enable comment moderation. I don’t want to read Viagra ads on a mediation blog and neither do you.

Apart from the Viagra ads, I saw no need to censor comments and continued to think that I didn’t need a comment policy.

That changed a few weeks ago. Someone posted a comment that was nothing more than a personal attack on my character. Although I’ve certainly had readers disagree with me strongly, they have always done so in a well reasoned and respectful way. Clashes of ideas are highly stimulating, and I’ve welcomed these differences of opinion.

This, however, was very different. Instead of attacking my viewpoint, this reader went after me personally. Since I had comment moderation enabled, I was faced with the decision of whether to publish or reject this comment. After consulting with several of my blogging colleagues, I decided to publish the comment, together with my response. After all, this comment said way more about the person who wrote it than it did about me. But my colleagues and I agreed that perhaps it was time for all of us to think about implementing a comment policy to anticipate the unanticipated.

What follows is the comment guidelines I have since developed for this blog. It tries to do honor to the principles that mediators endeavor to abide by. (And, since I wouldn’t ask you to do something that I wouldn’t ask of myself, this is the policy that guides me when I post comments on other blogs.)

Of course, since your comments matter to me, please feel to comment on this new policy. Your feedback is welcome.

1. I love to hear from my readers. Comments are encouraged.

That’s my starting point. Therefore, this policy is intended to be as unrestrictive as possible to encourage you to join the conversation.

2. Sticks and stones.

I may be a mediator, but I’m not mediating here. I’m blogging. I have strong opinions and express them. That’s part of the fun of blogging. If you disagree with me, that’s great. Tell me why. Disagree with me on the merits. Reveal the flaws in my reasoning. I welcome that. I’ll learn something.

What I ask in return is for no comments that

• Are potentially libelous
• Promote violence, discrimination, or hate crimes
• Are personal attacks or contain threatening language
• Provide false or misleading information
• Contain plagiarized or unattributed material

3. Taking the scenic route.

Mediation, negotiation, law, and conflict resolution offer plenty to talk about. So, I reserve the right to publish only comments that are related to the subject matter of this blog. Comments on weasel herding, as fascinating as they may be, are better suited for blogs on weasel herding.

4. And now for a message from our sponsor (not).

By all means share your comments, particularly if you have subject matter expertise. All of us, my readers and I, will benefit from your knowledge.

However, this blog is a commercial-free zone. Comments should not be mistaken for free advertising. Please, no comments that promote your business or commercial goods or services.

If you have written a book or offer a service or product you think my readers would be interested in, email me and tell me about it. I may decide to post about it. I can’t commit to passing the information along, but let me make the final decision.

Some exceptions: I reserve the right to promote events sponsored by academic institutions or non-profit associations for ADR professionals. I provide that information as a public service. I may also use this blog to announce classes, trainings, or programs that I myself am teaching.

Final thoughts.

Those are my guidelines for commenting. My hope is to encourage readers to participate in the life of this blog, to become the secondary authors envisioned by E-mediators. You inspire and give meaning to the writing that takes shape here. Your voice can be heard here. And your comments will always be welcome.