From the monthly archives:
Earlier this month this blog reported that the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra, on strike for eight weeks over a salary dispute, had agreed to mediation between musicians and management.
Thanks to the help of a federal mediator, the symphony, one of the oldest in the U.S., has ended its strike and will resume its concert schedule.
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We don’t accomplish anything in this world alone…and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one’s life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something.
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For some years now here in the U.S. a debate has raged regarding depictions of violence and conflict in the media. Some would argue that the media glorify violence, positing it as the most effective and direct means of resolving conflict. And that in depictions of conflict by the media, conflict itself becomes the sole focus, with little meaningful analysis of the forces giving rise to conflict, no understanding of the underlying interests at its heart, and no chance to understand the different perspectives that exist among the parties to the conflict. Whether this is accurate or not I’ll leave for others to debate.
What I can say with certainty, however, is that while conflict no doubt sells newspapers and fills seats at the multiplex, conflict resolution just doesn’t seem to have the same panache. Let’s face it, no one makes movies about mediation. And no one has ever made an animated cartoon about mediation.
But that’s all changed, thanks to the Department of Veterans Affairs. The DVA has produced a cartoon short, The Three Little Pigs Go to Mediation. Don’t miss seeing the Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf work out their differences with the help of the Wise Old Owl, an experienced mediator who uses the facilitative model.
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Two earlier posts discussed a controversial decision here in Massachusetts by a Superior Court judge in a case known as Massachusetts Port Authority v. Employers Insurance of Wausau, a Mutual Company (Civil Action No. 95-3079-A). In this case a judge held that a defendant’s failure to heed the advice of mediators could constitute evidence of bad faith refusal to settle. Because the decision seemingly disregards Massachusetts law which protects the confidentiality of communications made during the course of a mediation, this decision could have adverse impact on public confidence in the mediation process.
The text of the decision at the time of those postings was not available in an electronic format on the Internet. However, I have since been able to obtain a paper copy of the decision and put it into a PDF format. Click here to download it.
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Just a few weeks ago on a chilly but gloriously sunlit January morning I attended the wedding of two dear friends at our local town hall. What made this particular wedding so unique is that the happy couple had been together for thirty-eight years before getting married. This was also the first marriage between two men to be performed in this small Massachusetts town.
The twenty of us who were present were deeply moved by this ceremony which honored almost forty years of devotion, commitment, and love between two life partners. Many other gay couples in Massachusetts have taken the same step since the Commonwealth legalized gay marriage: by conservative estimates, over 4,000 gay marriage certificates were issued in Massachusetts during 2004.
But just a few days ago I learned that another gay couple has regretfully chosen to end their months-old marriage. And others, too, have filed for divorce here in the Commonwealth.
These two very different cases illustrate what we know from experience: many marriages and relationships endure, but sadly they can also end in separation or divorce.
Divorce, a legal process, can easily become adversarial, and lead to increased stress and mental trauma. It doesn’t have to be that way. There are resources and options available for all couples, heterosexual and gay, for support throughout separation and divorce.
There are two processes in particular which can make a difference for couples going through a divorce: mediation and collaborative law.
Mediation provides a low-cost and confidential alternative to litigation. In mediation, a third party assists a divorcing couple have a constructive conversation about the issues they need to address as part of the process of obtaining a legal divorce. Those issues may include: division of assets and debts; spousal support; issues relating to children, including visitation and custody; and any issues that are unique to the relationship.
Mediation helps people talk through the issues that affect them and their families and reach agreements that are fair, workable, and make sense for them. Gay couples contemplating divorce may wish to think about working with a mediator who has experience with and is sensitive to issues affecting the gay community. The important thing is to find a mediator that you feel comfortable working with.
For information on mediation, visit Mediate.com or the web site for the Association for Conflict Resolution. Residents of Massachusetts may be interested in exploring the web site for the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation.
Collaborative law is another option available to divorcing couples, which can be used on its own or in conjunction with mediation.
According to the web site for the Massachusetts Collaborative Law Council, the goal of collaborative law is “to protect the privacy and dignity of all involved”:
We acknowledge that the essence of “Collaborative Law” is the shared belief by participants that it is in the best interests of parties and their families in typical Family Law matters to commit themselves to avoiding litigation.We therefore adopt this conflict resolution process, which does not rely on a Court-imposed resolution, but relies on an atmosphere of honesty, cooperation, integrity and professionalism, geared toward ensuring the future well-being of the family.
Our goal is to eliminate the negative economic, social, and emotional consequences of protracted litigation to the participants and their families.
It requires the free and open exchange of information, and envisions working together with other experts, including psychologists, financial experts, and others, and sharing the recommendations and work product of those experts.
For more information about collaborative law, you can also visit the web site for the International Academy for Collaborative Professionals.
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The ABA Journal honored Mediation Channel as one of the top 100 legal blogs for 2009. Readers, thanks for inspiring me!
