From time to time for my non-Twittering readers, I round up the articles and news stories I’ve microblogged about on Twitter. Here’s the latest batch of tasty thought-snacks:
- Georgia court “deregisters” mediator for serious ethical lapses, including violation of confidentiality, thanks to mediator and blogger Chris Annunziata.
- Browsing the disputed web - Firefox extensions to uncover alternative viewpoints via Campus-ADR Weblog.
- A useful collection of video clips for trainers and teachers for lessons about communication, conflict resolution, negotiation, or leadership, thanks to Daniel Horsey.
- Superb PDF download: “The One Minute Manager Prepares for Mediation: A Multidisciplinary Approach to Negotiation Preparation” by Donald R. Philbin, Jr., with a hat tip to Geoff Sharp.
- Food industry’s answer to Big Tobacco - controlling America’s brain to influence food consumption.
- Stressed men but not stressed women more likely to gamble, take risks, according to study.
- Estate planning in a digital age - When you’re dead, how will your loved ones break your passwords?
- If you purchased the original edition of Predictably Irrational, the publisher will email you subsequent new material in PDF.
- For anyone interested in participatory democracy, here’s an outstanding post on John Folk-Williams’s blog Cross Collaborate on success in deliberative democracy
- Honoring collaboration: community-based work and the importance of being integrative, on Neuroanthropology.
- Evidence of gender bias against women…by women? A dramatic study from the theatre world, via Work Matters.
- The legalese hall of shame: a collection of impenetrable legal prose, thanks to Set in Style.
- Even with the familiar, we’re hopeless at noticing change - test yourself with these images of a U.S. dime, on Cognitive Daily.
- Put conflict resolution on United Nations climate change conference agenda, a masterfully written post by Victoria Pynchon.
- Walk a mile in my shoes: understanding empathy through spatial metaphors, via Science Daily.
- Rhythms of conversation - how do different cultures take turns to talk?, on Not Exactly Rocket Science.
I’ve written often here about the fault lines in the ADR profession - the deep rifts dividing facilitative and evaluative mediators, the line in the sand between attorneys who mediate and professional mediators who are not lawyers. These dividing lines damage our collegiality and pose harm to our credibility as dispute resolution professionals; if we are unable to face and address our own differences, how can we be relied upon to assist others?
Other professions are of course no strangers to such schisms. In fact intractable conflict smolders now between lawyers, rooted not in doctrinal or political differences but in generational ones. Adrian Dayton, a lawyer who publishes an eponymous blog, discusses its impact in ”Candid exchange highlights a disconnect” in The Buffalo Law Journal.
After describing the rancorous arguing that has ensued between members of different generations of lawyers, Dayton, a Gen Y lawyer, observes:
What does that tell us? That there is a real conflict - and lack of understanding - on both sides. The biggest message I took away from it was that we’d better figure each other out - we’re going to be together for a while.
Dayton has thus signaled his willingness to bridge the generation gap. So what about his counterparts on the other side? No word yet. But if they need some assistance, the blogosphere’s full of mediators.
A recent article in the New York Times about the decline of manners in a Blackberry age prompted one executive coach to write to the Times editor to share an anecdote drawn from his own experience working with professionals. He wrote,
I was told by a client, who is a former board member of a large cosmetics company and now a venture capitalist, that she had decided to refuse to help fellow alumni from her prestigious university. When I asked why, she explained how over an 18-month period, she had gone out of her way to help six alumni network into new jobs. In response to all her efforts, not a single one took the time to thank her.
This is a glaring example of how politeness and manners seem to have gone the way of the dinosaurs.
This letter resonated with me deeply. A year ago I described my own experience with the deterioration of manners in a post that asked, “Whatever happened to thank you? Thoughts on gratitude“. What prompted me to write it was my disappointment in the failure of a former student to thank me for a favor I had performed on his behalf. His thoughtlessness produced one positive result at least: it made me think what “thank you” really means:
It is not simply expressing gratitude for the extra mile, the care, the thought. “Thank you” is also about renewing or building relationships. “Thank you” honors a past deed. “Thank you” affirms hope for the future.
Common courtesy, alas, these days seems increasingly uncommon. All too often, I note its absence. This is in fact why earlier this week I published “Please contact me…but kindly read this first if you need advice“. I remain delighted to be of help; but I also hope that those who seek my assistance may be prompted to take a moment to consider the time it takes to give it. And because I cannot ask more of readers than I would of myself, I will also take especial care to be sure to show my appreciation for the time that others give me. And so I thank you, gentle reader, for your time, now and always.
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